What do we deserve?
What do we not deserve?
Today I will visit with a friend who has had a year no one ever deserves. Heartbreak, financial ruin, etc. ..Yes, she's landed on her feet and she will be fine. She is, however, a terrific human who is creative and kind to a fault and a delight to be around. It would be easy to say she certainly didn't deserve that...Where would you ever say someone would deserve such a thing?
I lost a dear friend this year. His death left a gaping hole. The hole was not as big as it left in his father's life, however. You live to your three-score and ten to watch your child die? Seems completely undeserved.
I have been provided the magnificent gift of time these past few months....lots of time. I do not believe I have been terribly productive with it. Judgmental friends who live with a lot of "shoulds" would have the same opinion I'm pretty sure.
Is this about self-judgment? Am I making too much of this?
Are we to live so that we can always be seen as deserving? Didn't God take care of this when He placed us on this earth? We are important to God, so we are. I don't know that we deserve anything. I like to think we are strengthened to get through the things that come in our path.
Large hurdles like owning one's truth will always be in our path. For me, this is the dragon to slay every day. Somewhere in young childhood I believed I was undeserving.. This brings a whole new light to these thoughts. the "less than" . . it is a plague.
Here's hoping you are not looking for resolution to my inner debate, for I do not have one. It is gift enough that I can see all the points and identify day by day what thing I may need to change in my thoughts and behaviors...which truth to grasp.
That makes a difference.
It's like the new song you cannot believe you didn't know (or hear) for your whole life until now.
Mercifully, it found you and it stays in your head.
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