Just when I think I'm past being emotional on a day like this . . . The son of my dear departed friend sent a message that said how it feels like his dad died just yesterday; it has been 9 months or so. This larger than life man left such a hole, such a void, in the life of so many people. Nothing has hurt like this for a very long time. It's a thing that feels like it will never heal. And if it doesn't, it doesn't. I will keep remembering gratefully the time we spent together and that I was able to see him and sing to him before he departed. Sometimes it seems consolation is far far away. But he wasn't my father and I am not his 26 year old son. That young man has a difficult road and my heart aches for him; however, I am grateful that he has his dad's resourcefulness and understanding of friendship. It will sustain him.
The male parents in my life left indelible marks...many good, a few not-so-good. With God's help, I am also resourceful. Who can doubt the power and grace of God? I stand, sit, kneel, run, scream. . .knowing it's in His hands, not any of the others. Even if all had been excellent in my childworld, still it's God who must be trusted and leaned on for what Fathering is all about.
1 comment:
Rita, Wish I could have known Michael but somehow I believe he would be proud of you'ns. :) Your last paragraph took my breath away, because it's so true.
Icouldn't help but remember, "I just keep trusting my Lord, as I walk along; I just keep trusting my Lord, and he gives a song..."
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